Gypsy Bard
by A Wolf's Nightmare
Summary: A gypsy puts a curse on Dr. Jack.
1. My Fair Laddy

It was a beautiful day in Canada. The sun was shining and everyone was enjoying themselves.

There was a fair that was going on in Canada and Dr. Jack and Mr. Jones were on it. They explored the new rides and did contests.

Dr. Jack and Mr. Jones sat together in the Ferris wheel car. It was late at night. The car creaked back and forth as it went up.

"Why are we here?" Mr. Jones asked. Dr. Jack was puzzled on why he asked this.

"Because I wanted to get away from that damn wolf and his adventures…and the carnival only comes 364 days a year. Apparently, they take Christmas off…"

Dr. Jack scoffed as he said the last part. They were only halfway up the Ferris wheel.

"What's taking so long?" Dr. Jack asked.

"It's letting other people on." Mr. Jones replied. The two sighed as the Ferris wheel started to go again.

"I want another chance at that dart game they have. Where is it?" Dr. Jack asked as he looked around.

"I think it's closed." Mr. Jones informed him. "On the account the proprietor's in the eye hospital."

"Maybe I should send him some darts for his birthday…" Dr. Jack wondered. "And the ride that takes you round and round… that's closed?" 

"Yes." Mr. Jones replied remembering the horror that went down in that ride.

"I shouldn't eat before rides like that. It went everywhere didn't it?"

"Yep. You were like a sprinkler. I was lucky I was behind an old lady. She was furious! At the end she looked like the creature from the swamp."

The two had a good laugh. The Ferris wheel stopped as they were at the top of it. The car moved back and forth.

"You know what I hated the most. The ghost train ride." Mr. Jones shuddered.

"Now that was scary. It wasn't coming out of your mouth that time, was it?" Mr. Jones asked. Dr. Jack nodded.

"I was lucky the man in front passed out so I can steal his pants."

"How do they fit, by the way?" Mr. Jones asked.

"Pretty good…" Dr. Jack replied. He stood up revealing himself to be wearing a pleated skirt.

"I don't know if he was a man?"

"He could've easily been Scottish…" Mr. Jones commented as Dr. Jack sat down.

"Wait a minute, is that who I think it is?"


	2. Dr Dre and Gypsies

"Who is it?" Mr. Jones looked over as Dr. Jack pulled him away from the side.

"Don't look!" He half-whispered. "I think I see Dr. Dre…"

"Dr. Dre!" Mr. Jones yelled as he looked over at the side. "Where is he?"

Dr. Jack smacked Mr. Jones in the head. The Ferris wheel started to move again.

"Ow! What was that for?" Mr. Jones asked, rubbing his head.

"When I say don't look, that means don't look. I think its Dr. Dre. I'm not sure. Let me check."

Dr. Jack peered over the side and saw a man who looked similar to Dr. Dre. Mr. Jones started to look to.

"That's not him!" Mr. Jones said. "It's an imposter."

Dr. Jack then gasped. "Maybe that's his stunt double!" Mr. Jones looked at him in a weird way.

"Why would a singer have a stunt double?" He asked.

"Well… it could happen… why can't you support my gibberish?" Dr. Jack pouted. They were then on the floor as the Ferris wheel car door was open.

They left the ride and started to walk around the carnival. They saw that most of the attractions were closed or closing.

"I think we better call it a night." Mr. Jones said looking at the clear night sky.

"Wait… what's that?" Dr. Jack pointed at a small tent with the sign that said, "Gypsy-Will read fortune for 5 dollars."

"How much do we have in our wallet?" Mr. Jones looked and saw a five dollar bill.

"Five dollars…" He took it out while Dr. Jack snatched it from him.

"Yoink!" Dr. Jack said as he snatched it. "We are getting our fortunes told. How do I look?"

Dr. Jack fixed his hair and straightened his tie. Mr. Jones was confused by this. He spoke up.

"Why are you doing that?" He asked.

"Gypsy's are always hot women. It's a fact." Mr. Jones then started to fix his hair and tucked in his shirt.

They went in the tent. Dr. Jack screamed in horror.

"AHH!"

He saw a woman for her fifty's with a non-moving glass eye that was noticeable. She was short with a hunched back and curly, unattractive hair.

She had a pointed nose and painted, long fingernails.

"When does the hotness kick in?" Mr. Jones asked.


	3. Pregnancy Machnes

"Come in and seal your fate…" The Gypsy said as they slowly walked in.

The two sat down on the chairs that were there. The Gypsy inhaled and then spoke again.

"I assume you have the five dollars…" She said putting her hand out for the money.

Dr. Jack placed the five dollar bill in her hand and she took it. She put it in her purse and started to inhale again.

"My name is Shirley. What have you come for?"

"For our future…" Dr. Jack answered a little scared.

"What would you like to see?" She asked in a booming voice.

"Am I going to make a machine that gets one of us pregnant?" Dr. Jack asked as he motioned to Mr. Jones and himself.

"W-what?" She was caught off by the absurdness of his question.

"And who are you?" Mr. Jones asked Shirley.

"I just told you who I…"

"I don't know, Mr. Jones!" Dr. Jack exclaimed. "Maybe she's the key to our pregnancy machine! I say, young man, are you mechanically inclined?"

"Let's just ask a different question…" Shirley said waving her hand in the air. She inhaled again.

"What would you like to know?" She asked again.

"Are we going to be the owners of the Gravel Pits?" Mr. Jones asked.

"Good question…" Dr. Jack said, impressed.

"I see a fight over those worthless Gravel Pits…"

"Worthless Gravel Pits?" Dr. Jack asked in anger. "Whoever owns those pits would be a god! What do you think powers the world's steam engines?"

"Coal…" Shirley said in a dead-pan voice.

"No, grav…"

"No, really, it's coal. Or it was. Engines run on gasoline now." She said, upset that she was stuck with these two idiots.

"Graveline, eh?" Dr. Jack asked. "Well, it's all gravel in the end."

"Gasoline…" Shirley said still upset. "And no. It's not. It's truly, truly not…"

"Feh! And where will your world be without this fancy 'Liquid Gravel'? We simply need a machine that turns gravel into coal…"

"And that coal will power out pregnancy machine!" Mr. Jones exclaimed.

"Now stop!" Shirley shouted.


	4. Do You Believe In Magic?

Dr. Jack and Mr. Jones stopped talking as Shirley looked at them in an angry way.

"I put a curse on you… a curse for being the stupidest men alive…" She said pointing her finger at them.

"Then I want my money back!" Dr. Jack said with anger. "I didn't come here for a curse…" Dr. Jack took her purse and took out five dollars.

"Come on, Mr. Jones…" They both left. Dr. Jack then came back in.

He the rummaged through Shirley's purse. "I need some money for the bus…" He hummed a tune as he looked through her purse.

"I'm going to take a twenty… and some of this change. Oh, can I have a stick of this?" Dr. Jack pulled out a pack of gum.

"_Yes, you can have a piece…"_ Dr. Jack said as he made a girls voice.

"Oh thanks…" He then took a piece and started to chew it. "One for the rode…" He took another one and put it in his pocket.

"Get out!" She finally yelled.

"Fine!" Dr. Jack said as he left.

"Do you really think she put a curse on us?" Mr. Jones asked.

"No… it's impossible…" Dr. Jack then stopped as he stepped into a small puddle causing his pant leg and sock to become damp.

"OH! That's just great!"

A fruit bat came in a bit him in the neck. "OW! Damn! A bat, that's new…"

Right then a Frisbee hit Mr. Jones in the head and knocked him down.

"Oh, God!" Dr. Jack looked down and remembered his CPR.

"Ok… this is nasty…" He then puckered up and went in for the CPR.

Mr. Jones opened his eyes and saw what he was going to do. His expression went from neutral to shock.

"NO!" He yelled as he pushed him off of him. They both gasped and sighed.

"You're alive!" Dr. Jack said as he hugged him.

"Control yourself, woman!" Mr. Jones said as he hugged back.

"I believe in magic! I believe in magic!" Dr. Jack exclaimed as he screamed at the sky.

"You believe? Then let's go back to the Gypsy… Reverse this curse…" Mr. Jones suggested.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not paying five dollars again." Dr. Jack complained.

Another Frisbee came and hit Mr. Jones in the head again. He went down.

"Don't worry bro! I got you!" Dr. Jack screamed as he puckered up. Mr. Jones then woke up again and pushed him away.


	5. The Stupid Ones

Dr. Jack and Mr. Jones went back to the tent of Shirley. They had an apologetic look on their faces.

"What do you want?" She said as her eye was closed.

"Um, hi…" Shirley opened her eye and saw the two.

"Oh, it's the stupid ones… Come back for more curses, huh?"

"No, we wanted to apologize for our behavior." Dr. Jack said.

"We didn't mean to make you mad." Mr. Jones added.

Shirley thought for a second. These two were really stupid. "You think I'd waste a good curse on you guys…"

"You mean we weren't cursed?" Mr. Jones asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

"Yes. Now go, I've had my fun…" She smiled.

Dr. Jack and Mr. Jones jumped in joy and hugged each other. "Now go… and take your cheap cologne with you…"

She said as she waved a hand in front of her face. "Wait!"

Dr. Jack said as he put a five dollar bill on the table.

"What is it you want to know?" She asked with a smile.

"Will one of us make a pregnancy machine that runs on gravel?" Dr. Jack asked.

"Get out!" She yelled not wanting to hear this stupid gibberish.

"Fine…" Dr. Jack said. He then took the five dollar back and the two left.


End file.
